*tacks up a notice in the common room*

[xp_olaris]

"Lost: One Roomie.

Last Seen: Monday Morning--Philosophy

Description: Mostly like a fast moving blonde blur who really needs to learn what moderation is.

If Found Please Return to Suite 205.

Reward of Fudge and Coffee will be offered."

Comments

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

*gets out Acme order form* Would you say she was prone to making a "meep-meep" noise?

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

*ponders* Actually, yes.

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Okay, then. I think I'll go with the basic "giant slingshot, rocket-powered pogo stick, and all-purpose keg of dynamite with handy-dandy plunger-style detonator" starter package. Can I put you down for anything?

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Tracking device? Stun gun?

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Those don't really blow up, though.

The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator comes with a free helmet . . .

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Hmm, what about a drop down cage?

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Wrought-iron, stainless steel, or polished oak? There's a whole subsection.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

*grins* Wrought Iron or stainless steel, of course. Unless they've got some metal that lasers can't cut.

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Oh, you want the premium section.

*flips pages* They have a reflective paint that's guaranteed or your money back . . . unless of course you use it in arid conditions or near steep drops, but then that's a fairly standard Acme disclaimer.

Should I throw in a sheet or two of Giant Economy Size Ultra-Flypaper? The catalog copy says it'll stop a charging rhino.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Reflective paint? *looks skeptical* Alright. Get me that and some of that flypaper.

Why do I feel like I should also be ordering a sign that says Uh Oh?

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Those come free with every purchase. :)

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

*glances up and steps aside to avoid the falling anvil*

I have a bad feeling about this.

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

We're not in a desert, on Mars, on a chicken farm, or the result of a wrong turn in Albuquerque. I think we'll be okay.

Hm. Okay, they recommend using food to bait the cage. You think the fudge would work, or is she sick of it by now?

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Ali? Refuse chocolate? Are you running a fever?

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Silly me. :)

Now, the real question is, what end of the hall do we set it up at?

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

*gets out floorplan and draws a dashed line to indicate path and marks a big X on the spot where they should set up the cage* Right there.

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Works for me. But I'm still getting the rocket-powered pogo stick in case she escapes the cage and we have to chase her down.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Get me the rocket-powered roller skates. Never hurts to be prepared.

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Will do. And I'll throw in the rocket-powered bike helmet. Makes balancing easier.

Re:

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

The helmet has rockets on it?

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

It's an Acme catalog. Everything that can possibly have rockets on it, has rockets on it.

Re:

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

I think I'll pass on that one. I've got a helmet of my own.

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Well, okay, but the thing about the rocket-powered helmet is it helps your head keep up with your feet. You don't want to accidentally fall over backwards when you're wearing rocket-powered roller skates.

Re:

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Yes, but this being an Acme product I think it's more likely my head will take off and leave the rest of me behind.

And that's likely to be messy.

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Messier than your feet taking off and leaving the rest of you behind?

You know, maybe I'll just put you down for the personal rocket ship instead.